09 November 2008

You can't bottle this up or I'd be a millionaire

As I sit holding my daughter, who is sleeping so soundly it renders me motionless, I am overcome with a wave of emotions so strong it becomes almost impossible not to cry. I am quickly learning what it means to be a mother, and how simple acts such as sleeping and eating become the most precious moments of my day, times where I am able to forget the rest of the world and instead snuggle with this ball of love my husband and I created. It is times like this when I understand what people mean when they previously muttered "You won't understand until you have your own child" because in all honesty, there are so completely right.

Looking down at her while she is sprawled across my chest makes me feel like life is just too good to be true and any minute this magnificent existence is going to slip away from me as I wake up from the best dream ever. It's that feeling of "this is too perfect to be happening to me", and I can only compare it to the feeling I had as I was walking down the aisle at my wedding, the complete giddiness of what's to come and how wonderful I felt, that total amazement of the moment actually being MINE, knowing this moment, this life, everything turned out so much better than I ever could have expected or hoped - and recognizing that for the rest of my life, there will never be a shortage of love. And even all THAT doesn't truly explain just how euphoric she makes me feel, because there are no words that can ever sum up what it means to be a parent.

So, as a wise person once told me, you'll finally understand when you have a child of your own.

4 comments:

Cassie said...

Oh, Becky, I know. Isn't it just amazing? Babies are such miracles. Watching Andrew sleep makes me feel so...I don't know...fiercely protective. He is so innocent, so vulnerable, so dependent on me. It's all so overwhelming, such a weighty responsibility, but it's the most amazing thing in the world, isn't it? He's six months old tomorrow and I'm still in shock at how fast the time goes. I won't even tell you to enjoy every moment, because I can tell you already are!

Ruby is such a beautiful little girl.

Missy said...

I'm so happy for you and Matt, Becky and I am so thrilled to hear of how much you have fallen in love with your daughter. I can't wait until I know that feeling too!

Kristin :) said...

I'm so very happy for you!! I can't wait for the day when I finally get the chance to meet Ruby! :) I miss you much chica!!

Kristin Anderson said...

what a perfectly beautiful post... It makes me anxious and giddy to meet our own little one in just a few months.... and I'm tearing up and the MASSIVE amounts of love you have for Ruby....