28 March 2008

Week 14 today

According to some Internet research, our baby is the size of a lemon this week (since week 14 starts today). Wow. It really is amazing to me and I think its finally starting to seem real. I know, I know, with all the morning sickness it should have seemed real, but instead I just felt miserable and couldn't begin to think about what a miracle was going on with my face buried in the toilet - just not happening. However, now that I've made it through the past couple days feeling semi-human, the excitement is starting to come and I want to start shopping. Baby items are so freaking cute - the little hats and onesies and socks, all of it! My husband and I were able to spend one day out looking at cribs and furniture and have an idea of what we like, but alas, we know we won't buy anything until after the big ultrasound so we know what we're having - although I have 2 fears regarding this: 1. That we won't be able to tell whether its a boy or girl and 2. if we can tell, that in the end it will be wrong (my mother in law knows how this goes since the doctor thought my husband was going to be a girl). The way I look at it though is IF either one of these things happen, then so be it, we'll make it through and laugh about it in the end. I just don't understand how people choose to wait until the birth to find out! I'm way too much of a planner and while the unisex stuff is of course cute, the little boy and girl items are so much better! I know we want to decorate the nursery according to being a boy or girl as well as I want to be able to refer to my child as "him" or "her" instead of it. I still giggle when we refer to the little one as "it". But that's just me and my craziness anyhow.

A lemon. That's SOOO MUCH bigger than a bean or a peanut. A whole freaking lemon. And its only going to get bigger. Life truly is a miracle.

26 March 2008

I think it is time

It has now been a few weeks since I have buttoned my pants - don't' get me wrong, for a while I still could but when I sat down, the pressure on my belly made me feel even worse (which was NO GOOD!). However, I put on my normal pants this morning and they won't even zip all the way now. Le sigh. I think it's time to buy some REAL maternity pants and I have a feeling once I realize how comfortable I CAN be, I'll want to kick myself for not doing it sooner. I guess my biggest fear is that new clothes can get SO expensive, especially when you need basically EVERYTHING new - but there is no way to get around it so I guess I need to suck it up and just go. My wonderful husband already picked out a pair of camo capri's that I wear pretty much non-stop, but they are not really appropriate for work (well that, and I would freeze in anything other than long pants and a sweatshirt since my current office is so cold).
So here goes - whether its tonight or in the next couple days, I will start visiting Kohl's, Target, Old Navy, Motherhood Maternity - as well as begin searching on eBay to see what I can find. Oh to feel comfortable again!

24 March 2008

That's good to know...

Thursday was great, or so I thought. I left a little early to come home and spend so good quality time with my poor, neglected husband and started getting a little hungry on the way so I stopped at Jamba Juice. I figured a fruit smoothie (and yes, a little sherbet) would be good to put something in my belly before I got sick. No such luck. Within 30 minutes of walking in the door I was once again sitting in front of the toilet, wasting the $4.00 or so I had just spent. Luckily for me, it made me miserable for only about 15 minutes. I was good for a few more hours then the night-time nausea came back. The rest of the Easter weekend was pretty miserable and lets just say I am working from home today because sitting at my desk with tears flowing down my checks waiting until my next gagging fit starts isn't my idea of a great Monday. So I continue to wait for the the joys everyone says the second trimester will bring. Today is 13 weeks and 3 days, so its officially the end of the first trimester. We'll pick up the rest of my expensive Zofran prescription today, which hopefully helps. It sure did this morning anyhow.

On a much more positive note, I just remembered the news the doctor had for me at my last appointment (which was last Monday). All my blood tests came back great and I'm not even showing signs of anemia, which is always a concern. But, I also found out my blood type - which sure is a good thing to know. I am A+ which I also believe means I do not have to worry about the whole positive verses negative blood type where I need shots if the baby is positive and I'm negative. So the good news is no extra needles, and for anyone that knows me, understands this is one of my biggest fears - so yay!

What about something OTHER than pregnancy, right? Well, with it being spring, we are anxiously awaiting any and all signs of better weather. One of those items are birds. We put out our bird feeders a few weeks ago and while it took them about 2 weeks to find it, the feeder has not been lacking birds for more than 5 minutes - so this is nice to watch. We seem to mostly have just common finches and doves, but there is also a cardinal pair that comes to visit and this morning I saw a red-winged blackbird which was neat. Another item we love here in Texas are the bluebonnets that grow wild. Now I haven't not seen a single flow, but my husband saw a field full on his drive to court today, which means spring IS here. I'm sure we'll get our camera out and take some pictures in the near future as well. The next few weeks also bring the Ranger's home opener, which we of course got tickets for, and thoroughbred racing to start - and we love going to the horse races! This time of the year is so exiting - I mean fishing, baseball, horse races, BBQ's, warmer weather - what could be better? And while I'm still hoping to start a small garden this year, I am making no promises there. I do know I can't wait to start cooking again, I can't even begin to tell you how tired of fast food and dining out I am. This will one day become more about food again, and that IS a promise.

20 March 2008

A good day...

Wow - whats that? A good day so far? Who knew that could happen, but it DID. Granted I still have the rest of the afternoon and evening to go but so far I have felt better than I have in almost 8 weeks. I was even HUNGRY at lunch and went out for some BBQ - its amazing. I am even hoping to skip out of a work a little early so I can go home and enjoy some time with my dearest hubby when I'm feeling good, he won't even know what to do its been so long. It's truly amazing to feel human again and want to do something beside lay on the couch and cry. At this point I have no idea what will come of the evening, but my hubby is off and I would be completely happy if we just snuggled and watched movies - I have missed him so much lately! It's also great since he's off tonight and tomorrow, so for the first time in a while we get a TRUE weekend together, like a normal couple (sometimes I really hate his schedule!). I think we might go out shopping so I can get some pants that fit ... since I hate to admit I have not buttoned mine for weeks now, so I think its time. I think I'm also going to check ebay and craigslist to see what I can find, since I have to imagine a whole new wardrobe will get quite expensive! The thought of getting out of the house while feeling normal has me all giddy inside, so pray it keeps up and that I'm over the worst of it!

On another note, I have several people close to me who are struggling with getting pregnant or dealing with miscarriages so I want to send my good thoughts out to them. While I've been physically miserable, they have been emotionally miserable and I can't even imagine the pain. You never know what the person next to you is dealing with, it could be worse than you think.

One final thought - tomorrow is Good Friday which means this Sunday is Easter, so take some time to enjoy what you have and remember: SPRING IS UPON US! Hooray for warmer weather!

18 March 2008

Morning, Noon, and Night Sickness

While I'm still battling the misery of the first trimester sickness, I figured it may be worth while posting some of the things I've been told can help with it (although its rare that I find relief with anything, but its always worth a shot!). So here is my list of things I've been told and more than likely tried at one point in time.

1. Ginger - long known for its ability to calm nausea, you can find this as ginger ale, crystallized ginger (such as candy), gingersnaps, ginger pills, or even ginger tea. I've stuck to the ginger ale - it's helped me burp which at times makes me feel better, but for me, it was no wonder drug.

2. Eating every 2 hours. It seems that as you get hungry, you get nauseous, so this can help prevent that. The main problem I had is that food in general was my enemy, nothing ever sounded good and my gag reflex was horrible, so forcing myself to eat was hard. This was actually a good tip and I am still trying to abide by it, but alas, food and I are still not friends.

3. Vitamin B6 - some people swear by this. Both times I tried it, I think I felt worse (if that's possible), so I gave up. I do know a large amount of women that say taking 25mg of B6 3 times a day, and then half a unisom caplet at night was their wonder drug, so talk to your doctor first, but it might be worth a shot.

4. Preggie Pops - made specifically for pregnant women dealing with morning sickness. These were great at first, but now they make me gag.

5. Lemons - whether its just the smell or actually sucking on them. Smells really offend me, so I can see how the smell can help, but citrus is on my bad list so the thought of sucking on a lemon again makes me gag. (This whole gagging thing has been LOADS of fun, let me tell you)

6. Rx meds - I've tried Reglan, Zofran, and Phenergen - both the Reglan and Phenergen made me feel really anxious, like I needed to crawl out of my skin, it was awful. The Phenergen also made me sooo tired that it would have been great, if I was able to lay still and sleep - but that anxious feeling kept me from being able to lay still - so while I didn't feel as nauseous, I was still miserable. However, I did end up vomiting still with both the Phenergen and the Zofran, as well as continued to feel nauseous and queasy with the Zofran. So in the end, none of these really worked for me.

7. Seabands - these are those little elastic bracelets you wear on each wrist that has a bead you place on a pressure point to help alleviate the nausea, although they are advertised for seasickness but supposedly work for morning sickness. I've worn these on and off and while I'm not sure they've made a difference, I continue to wear them just in case. I've yakked while wearing these too, so who knows.

8. Keep crackers on your night stand, eat before you get out of bed, and take your time getting up. This one I can't say I've tried because I usually feel best in the mornings. I do take my time getting up, and once I get up I immediately grab something to eat which seems to help. I believe this is based on the fact that you were sleeping all night and the lack of food is known to upset the nausea, so it makes sense.

9. Gum, candy, ice - something to suck on and keep your mouth busy. One of my biggest battles is the constant salivation and nasty taste in my mouth - so these help with both of those. There were days when the salivation was so bad I would just sit in the bathroom and spit because I could handle swallowing anymore of my own saliva (I'm gagging now just thinking about it). That was also about the same time that EVERYTHING left a bad taste in my mouth. Gum, candy, and ice were all helpful. The ice was good since it helped keep my somewhat hydrated when I couldn't even stand the taste of water - so I really suggest starting with ice chips, they were and still are my savior.

10. Cinnamon toothpaste - it seems the mint toothpaste is a common food aversion for pregnant women and lots of people have found solitude with non-mint toothpaste and cinnamon was the favorite. My dentist also said I could brush without paste if needed but if you do, I suggest rinsing quite often since that nasty taste will get you.

11. Sleep - this is by far my favorite and as I stated before, I tried to just sleep through my entire first trimester because I was so miserable. Granted I had some bad dreams, but at least I didn't feel queasy in them so it was a good time to rest. There were days I would go to bed at 7pm because I felt so miserably I couldn't take it anymore. So don't feel bad and sleep as much as you can - I hear once the kid gets here its something I will greatly miss.

12. Avoid smells as much as possible. I was really surprised at just how bad this was, I was with my husband once and he went to empty the trash. I got a quick whiff of something and immediately began hurling - it was awful. There were may a times I had to leave the room or breathe into my sleeve when someone was eating something near me. This is also where the lemon comes in handy.

13. Watch what you eat - I've heard everything from high protein to lots of fruits and vegetables can help. I even read where most of the third world countries or locations where processed foods are limited, morning sickness is not something people even have to deal with - so it seems that what you eat and get your body used to BEFORE you get pregnant can help, but once you ARE, you are at the mercy of your body. I tried fruits and still ended up sick, so I just ate what I could manage to get down.

I'm sure I've missed a thing or two, but these are the main things I've seen or heard over and over. Hopefully you can get more relief than I did because honestly, I don't think I got any. My poor husband dealt with me sitting on the bathroom floor crying, telling him I couldn't do this any longer, on more nights than not. Even this past weekend he sat there, helpless, as I sat by the toilet, sobbing, feeling more miserable than a person should have to feel. I am so tired from this all, my body is tired, my mind is tired, I feel like I am at my wits end and don't know how to go on. The knowledge that this Friday, as in 3 days from now, I will be 13 weeks and should mean all this misery is coming to an end as I get ready to start the second trimester is what keeps me going along. I know its not guaranteed, but I believe with all my being that it HAS to get better, that I HAVE to start feeling human again, so please, PLEASE keep me in your thoughts and hope that I am almost out of this phase. I am so ready to be excited and plan for the future, to start looking at nursery items and thinking about all the great things that come with babies, but right now all I can think about is how I am going to make it through the day. So far I have made it each and every day, so I'm hoping the light at the end of the tunnel is close - like REALLY, REALLY close.

Meanwhile, and I know most people will laugh at me for this, I swear I won't do this again. My husband and I talked and figured that between me being miserable, him having to take care of everything around the house and me, as well as what we want for the future, this is going to be it for us. We now we can provide for one much better than two or more. I know everyone will say we'll change our minds once we hold our little one and in the end it will all be worth it, but I just don't see it. I don't know many people that have been as miserable as me for as long as I have so I'm not sure its a fair comparison. I do know of one lady who got sick every day of her pregnancy - EVERY DAY - and because of that, they only have one. So while I hope come the birth I feel that it was all worth it, I really doubt I'll be up for doing this again. But, enough for today - hopefully these post turn cheerier in the next couple days and we can begin enjoying this amazing time. (((fingers crossed)))

14 March 2008

Lots of change

Well, after being prodded by several people for a LONG time, I figure its time for an update - and I bet you can all guess what that is from my lovely image. My goals for the year have obviously become null and void since there has been such a huge change in my life. My dear husband and I are very excited about the coming addition, as are all the soon-to-be grandparents, aunts and uncles. My official due date is September 28th, so it looks like I get to be nice and large for the wonderful hot summers here in Texas. Joy. I can also say that today I am 12 weeks along, and it has been a very rough ride so far. Morning sickness is ... well ... more like noon, evening, and night sickness and I am so ready to start feeling human again! I feel like I've been hungover for 8 weeks straight, which is bad, but then add to that all the hyper-sensitivities to smells, the horrendous gag reflex (I hurled after seeing an episode of Family Guy with vomiting), and the fact that food is no longer my friend (which means I also have no idea when I"ll be able to add new foods here again, I apologize in advance). It's truly awful and as of now I swear never to do this again. I know, I know, everyone says once we hold our child it will be all worth it and a few years from now we'll want to do it again, but as of now - NO WAY.

So along with that, I've had to start my 101 in 1001 a little early, and we'll use the date we found out as the start - which is January 20th. My NEW completion date will be October 17, 2010 - which is good since its right before the holiday season. Yay!

I will do my best to keep this updated more often and I'm sure there will even come a point where I post some of the ever loved belly pictures, so be patient. We haven't started taking them yet, but I think I am JUST starting to get the little pooch as my poor pants don't fit when buttoned, its kinda funny and yet a little bit sad. But with that said, so begins our journey!