Well...

She's a perfectly healthy baby girl!!! Our doctor told us we couldn't have asked for the big ultrasound to go any better - and we are THRILLED! We agreed on a name as we waited to talk to the doctor, but as of now are still trying to keep it a secret. I have to admit though, that the name seems so perfect that I'm beginning to think I might be "over" what anyone else thinks - so depending on how things go, we may spill the beans early. I go back and forth from moment to moment and while I do WANT to tell, I know its something we can't take back once we do, so we continue to keep our lips closed. No matter what, everyone will know in about 4 months anyhow - eeek!!!

On another excitement note, we purchased bedding (as you can see above). I want to paint the nursery and I need to pinks to match, so the sooner we get the bedding, the sooner we can start painting. I can hardly wait to start bringing all the baby items into the house and I know painting is the first step, replacing the floor is the second step, and then onto everything else. What REALLY made me tear up a little was my husband is the one who started the nesting. We spent yesterday moving items out of the "nursery" and cleaning out the closet. We have a few things to put in bins and load up into the attic left, but thats what the plan for today is. It's nice to know that we are actually STARTING the process since up until yesterday, we had done NOTHING to get the house prepared and now we have almost an empty room. I know that the next ~18 weeks are going to fly by as we pick out the crib, dresser, changing station, diaper bag, car seat, stroller, books, toys, bottles, and on and on and on! We do have some general ideas on what items we want as far as the BIG stuff (strollers, etc) so that should help, but I know how overwhelmed I felt when we walked into Babies-R-Us and saw ALL the items we are going to need.

The biggest issue we are having right now is the crib. We found a crib and dresser we love and its even a convertible, but is it really worth spending the money on it verses getting something that serves the same purpose but cost significantly less? There is SO MUCH to spend money on for our daughter, where do you splurge and where do you save? As of right now, I am leaning towards getting the set we like, since both times we entered this store we picked out the same set. We'll see what my husband says when he wakes up today - of course I might change my mind by then. Giggle!!!

Meanwhile, Happy Memorial Day to everyone! Make sure to take a moment to thank all those who have served our country, its something I don't think gets done as often as it should.

T minus 1 day and counting

Hi-YAAA!

Yup, you got it right - I am feeling the kicking now and its CRAZY! I was once told that the movement will feel like bubbles. I hear bubbles and think little, tickling movements like soda bubbles. WRONG. It's like a balloon popping in my abdomen, and it can be quite startling. I've been feeling it for about a week now and finally my husband was able to feel it last night, I was so excited! The look on his face was PRICELESS and I'm actually a little sad I was not able to get a picture - it was one of those surprise, shock, amazement, a little freaked out looks. I can only image its a face I'll get to see more and more as this pregnancy progresses and once we have our little on in our arms and I can't wait. Meanwhile, I have to admit that while the movement is a little unsettling at times and the thought of this human being growing INSIDE me is still a little freaky, its nice to have the daily reassurance that our little kick boxer is in there and active. I was too busy the first trimester being sick that I didn't have the chance to worry about something going wrong, but now that I'm feeling better for the most part, I am definitely worrying more about what-ifs. Having access to SO MUCH information isn't always as great as it seems!

Now for the even more exciting part! Our BIG ultrasound is scheduled for Thursday - as in 2 days from now! I can hardly wait to 1) hear that everything looks great and we have a healthy baby on the way and 2) whether we are having a boy or a girl! I'm so ready to start shopping and getting the nursery ready so keep your fingers crossed our little one gives us the money shot! My husband insists its a boy because he wants a son (although if you ask him what he thinks it is, he says he has no idea) and with all the name trouble we've had coming up with ideas for a boy, I'm leaning towards thinking its a boy. Everyone else I talk to thinks its a girl. Even the random lady working at the maternity store. We'll obviously be happy either way, I just have to admit the thought of having a teenage daughter scares the CRAP out of me. Girls are HORRIBLE at that age (I know, I was one!). I also know that if we have a girl, as much as I pray she turns out like Rory from Gilmore Girls, the chances are slim. Oh well, we'll do the best we can and hope no matter what we raise a healthy, happy child. I believe the chances of that happening are MUCH better. (((wink wink)))

I want...

As I was walking back to my desk from my hourly trip to the restroom, I spy a coworker walking down the hall with a plate. A plate of what? It looks like cake. And now I have completely lost interest in the person's plate (and whatever may actually have been on it) and am instead infatuated with the idea of cake. I want it. I want CHOCOLATE cake. Mmmmm. With CHOCOLATE frosting. Could this be a craving? One of those pregnancy symptoms I hear about so often but until now only had the one for cottage cheese? Does it matter? No, I guess it doesn't really matter, all that matters is I WANT CAKE! I'm thinking it is going to be the perfect night to make my beloved chocolate pudding cake, after of course a meal consisting of watermelon. (Leave me alone, I've been sick with this miserable cold for far too long now, if I want watermelon and cake for dinner - so be it!)

Now let's just hope I have all the necessary ingredients at home!

Wahhhhhhhh!

I apologize for the lack of updates, especially since I hit the 20 week (AKA: HALF WAY THERE) point on Friday. What did I do to celebrate you ask? I stayed home from work and laid on the couch all day due to this nasty cold I've caught. 3 days with a sore throat 4 days with my head all congested and a very sore nose, and now it is onto the chest cold and lung-hacking cough. Lozenges and Zyrtec-D have been in my system and have only had a minimal affect. I feel bad taking any more time off work since I was out twice last week, but I also feel guilty being here since I pray no one else gets this misery - so what do you do? I have tried very hard to stay away from others and concentrate on breathing to stifle my coughing, hopefully it works. As for everyone else: please take your vitamins and wash your hands!

It's all puppies and rainbows

It seems that my post yesterday made a few people wonder what is GOOD about pregnancy, and while I've had a really REALLY hard time until recently, I definitely have some good things to comment on. Meanwhile, remember that every pregnancy is different and while I've spent way too much time feeling like I was dying, there are LOTS of other women out there who really do LOVE being pregnant! Here are several things you can enjoy and look forward to:

1) The most obvious is at the end, you'll get to enjoy the fruit of your labors with a brand new human life. I'm not there yet, but I've been told by pretty much every mom other there that this alone makes it all worth it - however that one doesn't really help along the way, so I'll move on.

2) Men LOVE pregnant women. This one still shocks me a little, but its true. It amazes me how men, whether you know them or not, react to a pregnant lady - it is almost like you can see the little twinkle in their eye and you know they are being sincere when they tell you how wonderful you look. In my mind, they are able to embrace the miracle of growing a baby more than any woman can.

3) Food. Ice cream, cookies, chips, pasta, fruit - you name it. You now have a reason to eat all those yummy items that most "diets" tell you not to and you don't have to feel guilty about it. Oh! And your wonderful husband is usually eager to run out whenever you say and pick up said sinful delights - hooray! Ok, ok, ok - you can't eat whatever you want whenever you want and you still need to aim for healthy foods, but cravings are expected and you have a lot more leeway in what you gobble.

4) You are expected to gain weight and its actually healthy. This ties in with #3 since in order to gain weight, you need to eat calories (not just celery!). My doctor told me she was excited about my weight gain at my last appointment - thats music to a woman's ears!

5) New wardrobe. Once again, you have an excuse to go shopping and buy a whole new wardrobe. How can you're husband possibly get upset with you for shopping if every item you own shows your stomach? And whats even better than new clothes? Comfy clothes and shoes! No more zippers, no more buttons, no more heals - elastic is your friend, EMBRACE IT!

6) Everything baby - baby clothes, baby bedding, baby furniture, baby showers. Baby stuff is absolutely ADORABLE and so exciting to shop for.

7) Mommy boobs - need I say more? I never knew what cleavage was, but HELLO NURSE!

8) Maternity leave. FMLA states that (most) companies are required to hold your job for upto 12 weeks of time off. Many companies will even offer a portion, if not all, of this time as paid. I'm sure its a wonderful time to bond with your new baby, your husband, parents, whomever. It also provides a nice break which helps many women realize just how much they LIKE the break their job provides from home life.

9) No more kitty litter duty! There are suddenly all sorts of things that a pregnant woman should no longer do, many of which are things we don't LIKE to do anyhow. Its a great reason (or excuse) not to do these things and instead have someone else help. I've also learned with how much faster I get tired, my wonderful, amazing, prince charming of a husband has been forced to help around the house more because I am physically not able to. It's a little disappointing at times and it makes me feel lazy, but I also know its great "training" for once the little kiddo comes since there will be SO MUCH MORE to do.

These are just a few of the things to enjoy from a pregnancy, I know there are so many more that I'm missing (like feeling the baby move - I'm still waiting!). With anything, there are going to be ups and downs to deal with and you just have to hope you have more ups. My post yesterday was more about all the things people do or say and don't even realize how rude they are being or how uncomfortable they are making people. I know I was guilty of committing a few of those offenses before getting pregnant because I just didn't know any better. Its similar to asking people when they are going to have kids - which seems harmless enough, but for the couple who is going through infertility problems, the question is HEARTBREAKING. The big lesson is to focus on the positive, there is enough negative in the world as it is!

Now onto some ME updates! These past few days have been AMAZING. While I still fight the shower gag and need to make sure I eat, my mood has been better than I remember it EVER being - just call me Pollyanna! We were out last night and I mentioned to my husband that I needed to pick up some more clothes (I have 3 pairs of pants I can wear to work) so we stopped by the local Motherhood shop. We were in there for a few hours I'm sure, but the one thing I remember most is the lady working in there told me I was a HAPPY PREGNANT LADY. Who me? The girl who was so miserable and sometimes wondered if this whole thing was a mistake? Thats when it hit me that yes, I AM happy - finally - and it feels GOOD! I have the most amazing husband, a wonderful home, a great job, financial security, a marvelous family, two sweet kitties, I'm in good health, and I'm going to be a MOTHER - what do I have to complain about? Now that I can actually function and enjoy life, I don't think I could be much happier. Sure, I could live near all my family or have the opportunity to be a stay at home mom, but when I compare where I'm at with all the places I COULD be, I'm so thankful.

Today is week 19 and the little bean is now the size of a MANGO - holy crap! And while I don't think I've felt movement yet, its just a matter of time from what everyone says. I think I'm more excited about Matt being able to feel it than I am about feeling it myself. Eeek!

STOP ... and think first!

It happened yesterday, the first time, and sadly I know it won't be the only time, and I didn't even see it coming. The ever-feared unsolicited belly rub. Ughh!!! Why? Why do people feel that as soon as someone is pregnant, all bets are off and limits no longer exist? It's annoying and extremely rude. I don't run up to you and touch you! I don't rub your bald spot or pat your beer belly - so HANDS OFF! I don't LIKE people touching my belly, even my husband gives me the "Pleeeeeeeeease" look before he touches my belly - and sometimes I even tell HIM no! So, in an effort to try and rid the world (at least my world) of people doing and saying inappropriate things to pregnant woman, here is my list. Please take note:

1. It is NEVER acceptable to rub someone's belly - unless they specifically ask you to. If a pregnant lady feels movement and wants to show someone, they will ask if you want to feel the baby move. If however they just say "Ooooh!" and hold their belly, assume its gas, at which point you shouldn't want to feel it anyhow. Remember, pregnant women are still people and there should still be the same normal boundaries, if not more. In the end, if you stray and she stabs you with a fork, don't say I didn't warn you!

2. Never, ever, EVER talk about a pregnant woman's weight. Ever. Whether you tell her she looks small for 8 months or huge for 5 months, either way it is an insult and will most likely cause her to worry. The same goes for asking if she's "sure it isn't twins". She is a woman. Under any other circumstances would it be okay to talk about a lady's weight? I think not. Oh, and this rule not only applies to friends, but to family members as well - whether it be her husband, mother, aunt, whomever. Leave the weight comments to the doctor.

3. Don't share your horror stories! This is one I'll never understand either. It seems that people LOVE to tell how their epidural went wrong or they got stuck in an elevator or some other thing that we are already secretly scared of. We all know unpleasant things happen and do our best to not freak out about it happening to us, so just shut it.

4. The dreaded "Just wait..." reply. This one seems to be around every corner - "I didn't sleep well last night", "Just wait until ..." or "My back is sore", "Just wait...". Ya' know what world? I KNOW my body is going to get even more sore, I know I'm going to be the size of a house and have trouble getting off the couch, I know there will be very little sleep after the birth, but RIGHT NOW I'm still not perfect and if I'm tired, I'm still tired and I don't care how much worse its going to be, it still sucks RIGHT NOW!

5. "Was it planned?" Seriously??? Are you REALLY asking me about my sex life? Now I have to admit that this particular one does not bother me (yes, it was planned actually), but I know a TON of women who feel this is the numero uno in tacky questions. If you really stop for a moment and realize what you are ultimately asking, it makes sense why people don't like it.

6. Telling a parent they should or should not find out the sex before the birth. This seems to be more common with family members and I've read several stories about grandparents being disappointed because the child is a girl / boy or because the parents either want to find out or don't want to find out the sex before the birth. If it is a healthy baby, who freaking cares whether it is a boy or girl, and why should ANYONE other than the parents being able to choose if they find out early?

7. Commenting on the unborn child's name. This is another one where people seem to LOVE to refer to their own stories - "Oh, I had a dog named that" or "I went to high school with a kid named that and he's now in prison". Choosing a name is usually an extremely difficult decision, especially when you add in all the comments everyone makes. But even worse then that, people will badger you to tell them the name if you have chosen to keep it a secret (for above reasons). One this subject, we have not picked names yet, but have discussed them and I'm sure once we have the big ultrasound and (hopefully) know whether its a boy or girl, I DO NOT plan on sharing the names for the simple reason that I am easily influenced by the comments of others. I know for me all it will take is one person not reacting how I want them to and I will second guess myself. Silly, yes, but its the way it is, accept it. Don't worry, you will all know the name in due time.

8. Do not tell a pregnant woman (or any woman) how you think she should birth the kid. This is a VERY personal choice that the mother-to-be ALONE should be making. This is one of the few areas where I don't believe the father-to-be has much say, since it isn't his body and he won't be going through the experience and pain. I won't tell you to get a root canal without Novocaine, so leave me my choice of how I'm shooting this thing out alone.

9. Unsolicited advice. This is aimed at everyone and people seem to think they know best. I have had people tell me all sorts of things I should not be eating or drinking or doing - and most of them have never BEEN pregnant and are not in the medical field. I know caffeine is bad. I know I need to take my vitamins. I know I need to eat fruits and vegetables. Seriously, I've talked to my doctor and I follow her rules, I don't need YOU telling me what you've HEARD is best / bad / etc. Now, if you see me smoking crack or chugging down some Tequila, then I give you my permission to smack me.

That is my list for now, feel free to add your own!

PS - I WILL be carrying a fork with me at all times.

Tuggles verses the bug ... and a sweet potato

If anyone ever tells me cats are useless creatures, I will most likely laugh at them since they are obviously clueless. Don't get me wrong, my cats don't play fetch, rarely come when I call them (unless I use treats or catnip as a bribe), greet me at the door because they want food, and think they own the world. However, the males in my home (this is my husband and my cat Tuggles) are the official bug patrol - and sometimes I think my cat is more affective than my husband is (but lets not tell HIM that!). So on to the story...

A few days ago, before my alarm goes off, I hear my cat sporadically racing around my bedroom, randomly whining while this is going on. Mind you, this cat is about 18 pounds and NOT light on his feet, so yes, it wakes me up. I lay in bed for a few minutes listening to the chaos ensue, knowing that either 1) he is playing with his imaginary friend (which is ALWAYS entertaining to watch) 2) playing with one of the random cat toys he has, or 3) he has found a bug - and my guess was the bug. [SIDE NOTE: We live on a lake and thus have learned that we deal with a lot more of nature, both inside our home and out. As long as it continues to be a single bug every few months and not an ongoing battle, I can manage.] I slowly roll over and turn on the light by my bed then move to the end of my bed so I can see my whining kitty and his prize. There he is, laying on his belly with a single paw holding the bug in place. He lets it go and it starts to scurry away, Tuggles then lets out another whine and whacks it with the other paw. He proceeds like this for a short time until the bug gets to far away, at which point he runs over to it, picks it up in his mouth (((gag))) and moves it back to the center of the floor again. Now while he is "playing", the bug is slowly losing its legs - and yes, they can be found later on the floor (gross, I know). Soon the bug can no longer move on its own and Tuggles loses interest, at which point I have a bug body left on the floor. That is stage 1 of the bug control in my house and sometimes get skipped.

Stage 2 is where my husband's bug duties come into play. If the bug is small and not crunchy, I can address it myself. However, if it is a larger spider or other type of nasty insect (especially those that crunch rather than squish), it becomes my husbands job to deal with it. This most recent bug is the later, and while it is now legless and has one antenna left, it is still of the larger, crunchy variety and makes me shudder. I contain the insect for my husband (READ: place a glass over said bug - or bug body in this occurrence) and inform the exterminator (READ: call husband and tell him he has a chore to take care of immediately). So, I call my dear husband, tell him Tuggles found a toy and I'm pretty sure he ripped all the legs off so it can't move, and I left it under the glass on the floor, please dispose of it when you get home. (And now why I say I think my cat is the better "bug guy" in my home) I get home that evening and the bug is no longer under the glass (but the glass is still on the floor). Okay, no big deal. I walk into the bathroom and BAM! the bug body is sitting in the bottom of our toilet and I, of course, cannot use it now. Sigh. At least he tries.

Now for the sweet potato - that is the size The Nest tells me our baby is this week. I'm 18 weeks. 2 more weeks and I'll be half way there!!! Now, if we just knew what we having the shopping would start.

and I just *thought* it would be easier...

After looking through all the fun boy bedding yesterday, I figured since I knew I wanted pink, frilly bedding if we have a daughter, I could quickly find a few I liked. Okay, that part is not a problem. What I did quickly learn was the girl bedding I like is SIGNIFICANTLY more expensive than the boy bedding - think $200 vs. like $800. :-( The "Miss Princess" is my absolute favorite, but there is NO WAY I can justify spending that much on crib bedding and while the "Chloe" is not that expensive, I don't like it nearly as much. Boo hoo hoo! I guess I keep looking...

Miss Princess - Little Bunny Blue ($850)

Maribelle - Glenna Jean ($540)
Isabella - Glenna Jean ($390)

Coco - Glenna Jean ($390)

Chloe - Glenna Jean ($230)

Baby Ella - Glenna Jean ($430)

Alexandra's Room - Bebe Chic ($510)

Too many choices!

In an attempt to be a little proactive, I started looking at crib bedding. I was thinking maybe I could have a few picked out before we find out the sex to make it easier to shop and determine paint colors. A quick google search later and I had thousands of choices. How do I even possibly begin to choose? I started by looking at boys bedding, since if its a girl, I really want a pink room so I am thinking girl bedding will be easier to pick. So below I've included a few pictures of some of the boy patterns I like - please feel free to leave me comments and let me know what you think - God knows we'll need all the help we can get trying to make a decision! (Just remember, I'm looking at the bedding and not necessarily all the extra decor shown)

Two by Two - KidsLine

Spelling Bee - Lambs & Ivy
Pirates Cove - Cotton Tale
Peek-a-boo Friends - Cocalo
Papagayo - Lambs & Ivy

My First ABC- KidsLine

Moo Cow - Sumersault

Elephant Parade - Cocalo

Big Equipment - Cotton Tale

Baby Aviator - Lambs & Ivy

Oh how I miss thee!!!

This is so totally and completely UNFAIR. I can say for the first time since finding out I'm growing a human I actually have a craving. This is HUGE for me, since food and I have not been the best of pals lately and to actually CRAVE something instead of it just sounding tolerable is landmark in my book. "Great! Grand! Wonderful!" you say? Not so much, and I'll tell you why. I am craving cottage cheese, and not just any cottage cheese but the most delicious cottage cheese ever - Michigan brand cottage cheese. I have tried a few others from time to time and was always depressed, like to the point of throwing it out. And why is craving this particular brand a problem? BECAUSE I'M IN FREAKING TEXAS WHERE THEY DON'T SELL MICHIGAN COTTAGE CHEESE! This is a huge dilemma now, since all I can think about is that wonderful cottage cheese. I found out the Michigan brand is considered "Old Fashion" or "Farmer's cheese" and is a dry cottage cheese. I wonder now if this type of cottage cheese is available anywhere near me. My first try will be stopping by the grocery store on the way home and trying a variety of the brands they offer to see if anything works. If not, then it looks like I'll be hitting up a Whole Foods or Central Market to see what they have to offer. Hopefully I can find something that taste close enough to my prized cottage cheese to help get me paste this hump. If not, it looks like I'll be finding someway to get some of it shipped to me since I can't wait until August to get some (I'll be in the mitten state for my BFF's wedding).

Damn you cravings!!!

Duck, duck, DUCK!

Quack!!! One of our favorite past times it to feed the ducks, and while this is something we normally do off the dock in our back yard, this past weekend I wanted to get up close with ducks and geese. We headed to a local park with a full loaf of bread and looked for one of the more "duck popular" spots. We headed down to the river front and found a perfect spot to sit. Within a few seconds we had all sorts of ducks making lots of noise and apparently calling over all their friends. The white ducks seemed to be the most friendly and were the first ones to climb up on the bank with us. Next we had the Muscovy ducks which were more than happy to eat out of our hand - hence the up close and personal part I like. The mallards were surrounding us in the water and all seemed to be waiting patiently. When you have over 20 ducks around, several of which are making quite the commotion, it gets hard to try and feed them all evenly, but I tried, I really did! As I'm sitting there, my husband starts getting really excited and is pointing to one of the ducks that I at first though was a small mallard. My husband starts repeating "It's a woody! What the heck is he doing here - its a woody!!!" and for anyone that knows ducks, you'll understand how strange it is to see a wood duck at such a pristine park. They are normally only found in the marshes and more wooded areas, which in turn is why they are called wood ducks. This guy however, was up in the area with all the other ducks eating bread and holding his own - and what a beautiful duck he is too. You can see in the image below just how pretty these ducks are. I think we'll be sure to visit that park again!

Baseball, snakes, and an avocado

It has been a relatively busy week and I'm so glad it is finally Friday! Monday I had a doctor appointment for something non-baby related and I finally got an answer to something I've been dealing with since November - along with a Rx to fix it. Now I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that the issue will finally go away. Yay! Tuesday I was off of work so my husband and I (along with 2 of his friends) could go to opening day for the Rangers. We even arrived early enough to catch batting practice, during which my wonderful husband caught me a baseball which I am hoping to get signed by several of the players at future games. We LOVE baseball and are both so excited the season has started (and in fact might be going again tonight). The funny part is my husband ordered a beer and while I would have loved to indulge in one myself, I learned that just smelling it was enough to tide me over - random, but it worked. That night after the game was the major excitement for the week though.


My husband needed to sleep since he works nights, but since we had not had dinner we needed something quick. We decided to run up to the corner to pick something up and jumped in his Jeep. When we got back, we walked up to the door where we fiddled around for a few - talking to the dove nesting above the door and then my husband randomly grabbing for the door handle, but on the wrong side of the door for some reason (see, he really does need his sleep!). As we were standing there I just happen to look down and freaked out - I scurried away from the door screaming my husbands name. My poor husband. Being the spider hater he is, he assumed there was a spider near him and quickly leaped back while swatting at his head, face and shoulders - trying to get the crazy eight-legged Satan off of him. Meanwhile, I'm point at the door with random sounds coming out of my mouth since I could not make words. He looked at me, trying to figure out what the problem was and then looked at the door. It took him about 30 seconds to finally see it - there, on the same doormat we had just been standing on in shorts and flipflops was a snake! Once he saw it, I was finally able to make words again and we looked at each other and both commenting on how we didn't see it in the first place - I mean, how did we both walk up to the door, stand on the mat WITH the snake, and not even realize it. Then, how in the world did neither of us get bit, considering we were standing there for at least 2 minutes or more. Yuck. The next half hour was spent going in the BACK door, getting a shovel, and trying to get the snake out of our yard without either of us getting bit. As my brave husband tried, the snake continued to snap viciously at the shovel and anything else that got near it. (((shudders))) He finally was able to move it out of the yard and were able to eat. Needless to say, we are both very cautious approaching our house now - or any other building for that matter. Living on a lake isn't 100% wonderful considering all the random bugs and wildlife we have to deal with, but so far its been worth it.

Wednesday was much less exciting as I had class all day at work and we spent time with my husbands family that night, with the guys all playing Rockband. Uneventful in comparison, but we enjoyed it. Thursday we met with out financial advisor, who gave us the good news that looking at our retirement, its possible for me to go part time after the baby is born for a whole 5 years, stopping my retirement contributions during that time, and still come out on goal in the end. While we have no idea at this point whether I'll be going back full or part time, its nice to know we have the option to do part time and not push our future goals out any. I guess its about time we starting looking at this a little more since the time will come before we know it! Eeek! Back to Thursday though - after our meeting we grabbed some dinner and headed out for opening day at Lonestar Park and bet on some ponies. After admission, parking, a few beverages, and betting (and winning), the evening cost us less than $10 and allowed us to enjoy the nice spring evening. So perfect. I love this time of the year! And while right now we don't have any plans set in stone for next week (other than my OB appt), I'm sure we'll manage to watch some baseball, bet on a few more ponies, and continue to enjoy both the weather and each other. After a year and a half of marriage, I have to admit I continue to enjoy every single second!


One final note - today I am 16 weeks along. 16 weeks. 4 months. Wow. And I hear my baby is the size of an avocado. That means I have roughly 5 months left. Time really flies. I have to share a commercial I saw that really made me realize how close we are. I believe the commercial was for Cooks Childrens medical center, but I might wrong - however the story really made me think. It started with a lady talking about the NICU and how thankful she was for them, she talked about how she gave birth to her child at 24 weeks (that's 2 months from now for me, not very long), and how the NICU was so wonderful and everything. She then ends with a comment about how her child is a normal 7 year old now - after being born so early, the child is in perfect health. My husband and I looked at one another and both said "2 months", meaning if that were us, we'd be full on parents in 2 months. We have 2 bibs and a pair of booties. We are not even CLOSE to being prepared. I think that commercial helped me realized the reality of it all. I know we are waiting until after the 20 week BIG ultrasound to purchase anything, but I know I'm also starting to feel slightly anxious. While I should have 5 months left to acquire the things I need, you never know the hand life will deal you. So as I end this, I ask you to please to keep my unborn child in your thoughts and say a little prayer that everything works out as planned.

Waiting...

I'm still waiting ... and I'm tired. Will this ever end?

Week 14 today

According to some Internet research, our baby is the size of a lemon this week (since week 14 starts today). Wow. It really is amazing to me and I think its finally starting to seem real. I know, I know, with all the morning sickness it should have seemed real, but instead I just felt miserable and couldn't begin to think about what a miracle was going on with my face buried in the toilet - just not happening. However, now that I've made it through the past couple days feeling semi-human, the excitement is starting to come and I want to start shopping. Baby items are so freaking cute - the little hats and onesies and socks, all of it! My husband and I were able to spend one day out looking at cribs and furniture and have an idea of what we like, but alas, we know we won't buy anything until after the big ultrasound so we know what we're having - although I have 2 fears regarding this: 1. That we won't be able to tell whether its a boy or girl and 2. if we can tell, that in the end it will be wrong (my mother in law knows how this goes since the doctor thought my husband was going to be a girl). The way I look at it though is IF either one of these things happen, then so be it, we'll make it through and laugh about it in the end. I just don't understand how people choose to wait until the birth to find out! I'm way too much of a planner and while the unisex stuff is of course cute, the little boy and girl items are so much better! I know we want to decorate the nursery according to being a boy or girl as well as I want to be able to refer to my child as "him" or "her" instead of it. I still giggle when we refer to the little one as "it". But that's just me and my craziness anyhow.

A lemon. That's SOOO MUCH bigger than a bean or a peanut. A whole freaking lemon. And its only going to get bigger. Life truly is a miracle.

I think it is time

It has now been a few weeks since I have buttoned my pants - don't' get me wrong, for a while I still could but when I sat down, the pressure on my belly made me feel even worse (which was NO GOOD!). However, I put on my normal pants this morning and they won't even zip all the way now. Le sigh. I think it's time to buy some REAL maternity pants and I have a feeling once I realize how comfortable I CAN be, I'll want to kick myself for not doing it sooner. I guess my biggest fear is that new clothes can get SO expensive, especially when you need basically EVERYTHING new - but there is no way to get around it so I guess I need to suck it up and just go. My wonderful husband already picked out a pair of camo capri's that I wear pretty much non-stop, but they are not really appropriate for work (well that, and I would freeze in anything other than long pants and a sweatshirt since my current office is so cold).

So here goes - whether its tonight or in the next couple days, I will start visiting Kohl's, Target, Old Navy, Motherhood Maternity - as well as begin searching on eBay to see what I can find. Oh to feel comfortable again!

That's good to know...

Thursday was great, or so I thought. I left a little early to come home and spend so good quality time with my poor, neglected husband and started getting a little hungry on the way so I stopped at Jamba Juice. I figured a fruit smoothie (and yes, a little sherbet) would be good to put something in my belly before I got sick. No such luck. Within 30 minutes of walking in the door I was once again sitting in front of the toilet, wasting the $4.00 or so I had just spent. Luckily for me, it made me miserable for only about 15 minutes. I was good for a few more hours then the night-time nausea came back. The rest of the Easter weekend was pretty miserable and lets just say I am working from home today because sitting at my desk with tears flowing down my checks waiting until my next gagging fit starts isn't my idea of a great Monday. So I continue to wait for the the joys everyone says the second trimester will bring. Today is 13 weeks and 3 days, so its officially the end of the first trimester. We'll pick up the rest of my expensive Zofran prescription today, which hopefully helps. It sure did this morning anyhow.

On a much more positive note, I just remembered the news the doctor had for me at my last appointment (which was last Monday). All my blood tests came back great and I'm not even showing signs of anemia, which is always a concern. But, I also found out my blood type - which sure is a good thing to know. I am A+ which I also believe means I do not have to worry about the whole positive verses negative blood type where I need shots if the baby is positive and I'm negative. So the good news is no extra needles, and for anyone that knows me, understands this is one of my biggest fears - so yay!

What about something OTHER than pregnancy, right? Well, with it being spring, we are anxiously awaiting any and all signs of better weather. One of those items are birds. We put out our bird feeders a few weeks ago and while it took them about 2 weeks to find it, the feeder has not been lacking birds for more than 5 minutes - so this is nice to watch. We seem to mostly have just common finches and doves, but there is also a cardinal pair that comes to visit and this morning I saw a red-winged blackbird which was neat. Another item we love here in Texas are the bluebonnets that grow wild. Now I haven't not seen a single flow, but my husband saw a field full on his drive to court today, which means spring IS here. I'm sure we'll get our camera out and take some pictures in the near future as well. The next few weeks also bring the Ranger's home opener, which we of course got tickets for, and thoroughbred racing to start - and we love going to the horse races! This time of the year is so exiting - I mean fishing, baseball, horse races, BBQ's, warmer weather - what could be better? And while I'm still hoping to start a small garden this year, I am making no promises there. I do know I can't wait to start cooking again, I can't even begin to tell you how tired of fast food and dining out I am. This will one day become more about food again, and that IS a promise.

A good day...

Wow - whats that? A good day so far? Who knew that could happen, but it DID. Granted I still have the rest of the afternoon and evening to go but so far I have felt better than I have in almost 8 weeks. I was even HUNGRY at lunch and went out for some BBQ - its amazing. I am even hoping to skip out of a work a little early so I can go home and enjoy some time with my dearest hubby when I'm feeling good, he won't even know what to do its been so long. It's truly amazing to feel human again and want to do something beside lay on the couch and cry. At this point I have no idea what will come of the evening, but my hubby is off and I would be completely happy if we just snuggled and watched movies - I have missed him so much lately! It's also great since he's off tonight and tomorrow, so for the first time in a while we get a TRUE weekend together, like a normal couple (sometimes I really hate his schedule!). I think we might go out shopping so I can get some pants that fit ... since I hate to admit I have not buttoned mine for weeks now, so I think its time. I think I'm also going to check ebay and craigslist to see what I can find, since I have to imagine a whole new wardrobe will get quite expensive! The thought of getting out of the house while feeling normal has me all giddy inside, so pray it keeps up and that I'm over the worst of it!

On another note, I have several people close to me who are struggling with getting pregnant or dealing with miscarriages so I want to send my good thoughts out to them. While I've been physically miserable, they have been emotionally miserable and I can't even imagine the pain. You never know what the person next to you is dealing with, it could be worse than you think.

One final thought - tomorrow is Good Friday which means this Sunday is Easter, so take some time to enjoy what you have and remember: SPRING IS UPON US! Hooray for warmer weather!

Morning, Noon, and Night Sickness

While I'm still battling the misery of the first trimester sickness, I figured it may be worth while posting some of the things I've been told can help with it (although its rare that I find relief with anything, but its always worth a shot!). So here is my list of things I've been told and more than likely tried at one point in time.

1. Ginger - long known for its ability to calm nausea, you can find this as ginger ale, crystallized ginger (such as candy), gingersnaps, ginger pills, or even ginger tea. I've stuck to the ginger ale - it's helped me burp which at times makes me feel better, but for me, it was no wonder drug.

2. Eating every 2 hours. It seems that as you get hungry, you get nauseous, so this can help prevent that. The main problem I had is that food in general was my enemy, nothing ever sounded good and my gag reflex was horrible, so forcing myself to eat was hard. This was actually a good tip and I am still trying to abide by it, but alas, food and I are still not friends.

3. Vitamin B6 - some people swear by this. Both times I tried it, I think I felt worse (if that's possible), so I gave up. I do know a large amount of women that say taking 25mg of B6 3 times a day, and then half a unisom caplet at night was their wonder drug, so talk to your doctor first, but it might be worth a shot.

4. Preggie Pops - made specifically for pregnant women dealing with morning sickness. These were great at first, but now they make me gag.

5. Lemons - whether its just the smell or actually sucking on them. Smells really offend me, so I can see how the smell can help, but citrus is on my bad list so the thought of sucking on a lemon again makes me gag. (This whole gagging thing has been LOADS of fun, let me tell you)

6. Rx meds - I've tried Reglan, Zofran, and Phenergen - both the Reglan and Phenergen made me feel really anxious, like I needed to crawl out of my skin, it was awful. The Phenergen also made me sooo tired that it would have been great, if I was able to lay still and sleep - but that anxious feeling kept me from being able to lay still - so while I didn't feel as nauseous, I was still miserable. However, I did end up vomiting still with both the Phenergen and the Zofran, as well as continued to feel nauseous and queasy with the Zofran. So in the end, none of these really worked for me.

7. Seabands - these are those little elastic bracelets you wear on each wrist that has a bead you place on a pressure point to help alleviate the nausea, although they are advertised for seasickness but supposedly work for morning sickness. I've worn these on and off and while I'm not sure they've made a difference, I continue to wear them just in case. I've yakked while wearing these too, so who knows.

8. Keep crackers on your night stand, eat before you get out of bed, and take your time getting up. This one I can't say I've tried because I usually feel best in the mornings. I do take my time getting up, and once I get up I immediately grab something to eat which seems to help. I believe this is based on the fact that you were sleeping all night and the lack of food is known to upset the nausea, so it makes sense.

9. Gum, candy, ice - something to suck on and keep your mouth busy. One of my biggest battles is the constant salivation and nasty taste in my mouth - so these help with both of those. There were days when the salivation was so bad I would just sit in the bathroom and spit because I could handle swallowing anymore of my own saliva (I'm gagging now just thinking about it). That was also about the same time that EVERYTHING left a bad taste in my mouth. Gum, candy, and ice were all helpful. The ice was good since it helped keep my somewhat hydrated when I couldn't even stand the taste of water - so I really suggest starting with ice chips, they were and still are my savior.

10. Cinnamon toothpaste - it seems the mint toothpaste is a common food aversion for pregnant women and lots of people have found solitude with non-mint toothpaste and cinnamon was the favorite. My dentist also said I could brush without paste if needed but if you do, I suggest rinsing quite often since that nasty taste will get you.

11. Sleep - this is by far my favorite and as I stated before, I tried to just sleep through my entire first trimester because I was so miserable. Granted I had some bad dreams, but at least I didn't feel queasy in them so it was a good time to rest. There were days I would go to bed at 7pm because I felt so miserably I couldn't take it anymore. So don't feel bad and sleep as much as you can - I hear once the kid gets here its something I will greatly miss.

12. Avoid smells as much as possible. I was really surprised at just how bad this was, I was with my husband once and he went to empty the trash. I got a quick whiff of something and immediately began hurling - it was awful. There were may a times I had to leave the room or breathe into my sleeve when someone was eating something near me. This is also where the lemon comes in handy.

13. Watch what you eat - I've heard everything from high protein to lots of fruits and vegetables can help. I even read where most of the third world countries or locations where processed foods are limited, morning sickness is not something people even have to deal with - so it seems that what you eat and get your body used to BEFORE you get pregnant can help, but once you ARE, you are at the mercy of your body. I tried fruits and still ended up sick, so I just ate what I could manage to get down.

I'm sure I've missed a thing or two, but these are the main things I've seen or heard over and over. Hopefully you can get more relief than I did because honestly, I don't think I got any. My poor husband dealt with me sitting on the bathroom floor crying, telling him I couldn't do this any longer, on more nights than not. Even this past weekend he sat there, helpless, as I sat by the toilet, sobbing, feeling more miserable than a person should have to feel. I am so tired from this all, my body is tired, my mind is tired, I feel like I am at my wits end and don't know how to go on. The knowledge that this Friday, as in 3 days from now, I will be 13 weeks and should mean all this misery is coming to an end as I get ready to start the second trimester is what keeps me going along. I know its not guaranteed, but I believe with all my being that it HAS to get better, that I HAVE to start feeling human again, so please, PLEASE keep me in your thoughts and hope that I am almost out of this phase. I am so ready to be excited and plan for the future, to start looking at nursery items and thinking about all the great things that come with babies, but right now all I can think about is how I am going to make it through the day. So far I have made it each and every day, so I'm hoping the light at the end of the tunnel is close - like REALLY, REALLY close.

Meanwhile, and I know most people will laugh at me for this, I swear I won't do this again. My husband and I talked and figured that between me being miserable, him having to take care of everything around the house and me, as well as what we want for the future, this is going to be it for us. We now we can provide for one much better than two or more. I know everyone will say we'll change our minds once we hold our little one and in the end it will all be worth it, but I just don't see it. I don't know many people that have been as miserable as me for as long as I have so I'm not sure its a fair comparison. I do know of one lady who got sick every day of her pregnancy - EVERY DAY - and because of that, they only have one. So while I hope come the birth I feel that it was all worth it, I really doubt I'll be up for doing this again. But, enough for today - hopefully these post turn cheerier in the next couple days and we can begin enjoying this amazing time. (((fingers crossed)))

Lots of change

Well, after being prodded by several people for a LONG time, I figure its time for an update - and I bet you can all guess what that is from my lovely image. My goals for the year have obviously become null and void since there has been such a huge change in my life. My dear husband and I are very excited about the coming addition, as are all the soon-to-be grandparents, aunts and uncles. My official due date is September 28th, so it looks like I get to be nice and large for the wonderful hot summers here in Texas. Joy. I can also say that today I am 12 weeks along, and it has been a very rough ride so far. Morning sickness is ... well ... more like noon, evening, and night sickness and I am so ready to start feeling human again! I feel like I've been hungover for 8 weeks straight, which is bad, but then add to that all the hyper-sensitivities to smells, the horrendous gag reflex (I hurled after seeing an episode of Family Guy with vomiting), and the fact that food is no longer my friend (which means I also have no idea when I"ll be able to add new foods here again, I apologize in advance). It's truly awful and as of now I swear never to do this again. I know, I know, everyone says once we hold our child it will be all worth it and a few years from now we'll want to do it again, but as of now - NO WAY.

So along with that, I've had to start my 101 in 1001 a little early, and we'll use the date we found out as the start - which is January 20th. My NEW completion date will be October 17, 2010 - which is good since its right before the holiday season. Yay!

I will do my best to keep this updated more often and I'm sure there will even come a point where I post some of the ever loved belly pictures, so be patient. We haven't started taking them yet, but I think I am JUST starting to get the little pooch as my poor pants don't fit when buttoned, its kinda funny and yet a little bit sad. But with that said, so begins our journey!