4 months and counting

Wow, January was quite a ride for us. I went back to work and Ruby went to daycare and my husband went back to midnights. Of course, I was back to work for about 3 weeks when I got laid off, so I'm back at home with Ruby again. We also all spent most of the month sick, from head colds and coughs, to me having mastitis and Ruby getting an ear infection, along with my husband dealing with not one, but two different boils. Needless to say, it was quite a rough month ... but it wasn't all bad!


Ruby started doing a LOT better with tummy time and is doing really well with rolling over. She's good when it comes to rolling from back to belly, but still needs more practice going from belly to back. I think the fluffy diapers and not nearly enough tummy time are the main reasons, so we'll work on more tummy time to help her out. Meanwhile, she's seems to be doing great with her hands, grabbing items and holding them - and EVERYTHING goes into her mouth. She's learned how to snatch our glasses off our face and loves when I do kissy noises on her hand. She also giggles when we kiss her belly during diaper changes. She smiles more than not anymore and has really learned how to make all sorts of racket, although she doesn't quite understand the indoor verses outdoor voice yet.



I think we are all really starting to get this family stuff down. My husband and I dropped her off at daycare one day and then came home to clean and it just felt strange not to have her around. She has become such a huge part of our life its amazing to think that just a short period ago it was just the two of us, and while I'll admit I miss some of the couple time my husband and I once had, I wouldn't trade what we have now for anything.

My sister and sister in law also came to visit (and I shamelessly stole the pictures from her blog). It was a nice, relaxing weekend for them to get to spend some time with Ruby.

And Ruby really enjoyed spending quality time with her aunts. She got a little spoiled of course, but isn't that what aunts are suppose to do?

Ruby continues to grow each and every day and is now into her 6-9 month clothes, its incredible. I get a little sad every time I have to put another outfit in the bucket because it just doesn't fit anymore. Good thing baby clothes are so inexpensive!

Long overdue update!

Wow, the time has just flown by! I apologize for not having any updates sooner and I'll do my best to post more often, but on to the good stuff!!!

Let's start with month 3 - December. This was a rather rough month for both myself and Ruby, and I can honestly say I'm glad it is over. We continued to struggle with her showing signs of some sort of allergy and after a little research and talking to the pediatrician, I was going to eliminate soy from my diet as well as dairy. For any of you label readers, you'll know that almost everything seems to have either dairy or soy in it - and forget processed foods and easy freezer meals. Luckily, everything I read stated that most people allergic to soy could still tolerate soy oil, soybean oil, and soy lecithin. After a short time, the diaper changes started going better and I know we finally found the issue - so I've been both dairy AND soy free ever since. It's hard and we are basically rotating a few meals at this point in time, but its working. Hopefully we can start to branch out and make more meals, but with all the other changes that have gone on recently, we'll wait until things settle down to really worry about it.


This was also the month where Ruby quit falling asleep for naps easily, and since we didn't realize it, we had several evenings with complete meltdowns. Between swaddling and shooshing and gentle rocking and nursing and laying her on her side and various online conversations and books, we managed to get through that rough patch and are back to happy baby.


On to some good news, Ruby began really smiling in December, smiling more than just in her sleep - an it feels so good to see it. Right now, there is nothing better than peeking over at her in the morning when she first wakes up and she greets you with that big, open-mouth smile.

This month however has been crazy-busy, which is both good and bad. I returned to work on January 7th, which meant Ruby was starting daycare. I am still torn about having to send her to daycare and basically let a stranger raise my daughter, but my husband and I have had several conversations on this subject and while WE are willing to give up things NOW to make it possible for me to stay home, we are NOT willing to give up all the dreams we have for Ruby in the future - from traveling to private school and college. I know its the right decision but I still don't like it. Lucky for me, my husband was on evening shift at the time and could take Ruby to daycare, because in all honesty, if I had to do it, I don't think I would have left her there. Of course, my husbands schedule has been changing constantly since the beginning of the month so its been a bit difficult to get into any sort of routine. We're managing on a day to day basis now, but we both agree we need to sit down and get a sort of daily list of what needs to be done and what needs to be ready before bedtime. From washing bottles and pump parts and diapers, to getting the diaper bag packed, making dinner, bathing Ruby, and getting my work stuff together, plus dealing with my husbands new school schedule, its been quit chaotic around here. I know with time, things will work out better and we'll develop a more efficient routine, so I just need to survive until then.

Oh! Another update - we visited with the hematologist after Ruby's test came back with abnormal hemoglobin and it turns out she has a strain of J-Baltimore hemoglobin, which she got from either my husband or myself. All the information they have on this strain indicates it is completely benign and she should have no health issues from it - which also means that whichever one of us has it has nothing to worry about as well. Now, if I never have to go back to Childrens Medical Center, THAT would be great. Walking in there and seeing all those children who are going through chemo is heart-wrenching. I can't even imagine what it feels like to be a parent of a REALLY sick child, and I hope I never know that pain.

Ruby is really starting to learn now, as she has begun rolling over, both from back to belly and belly to back. She hasn't completely mastered it, but she is sure getting there. She has also been gaining better control of her arms and hands. She loves to grab the items hanging from Mr. Octopus and, another new habit, stick them in her mouth. She will suck or chew on anything she can - rattles, stuffed toys, paci's, shoulders. She is so alert and always taking in everything around her, it is so fun to watch all these changes! This parenthood thing is so much better than I could have ever imagined, and even on the hardest of days, I will never regret my decision to have a child - Ruby really is the light of my life.

I have a feeling she is going to be a daddy's girl though, notice which ducky she likes. That's okay though, she'll always be my little Pebbles.

Month 2

Wow - these past 2 months sure went a lot faster than those last 2 months of pregnancy, and its so completely unfair! I don't even want to think about how fast these next few weeks are going to go, these few short weeks I have left at home with my precious pumpkin, it completely breaks my heart. Until then, we'll enjoy every moment we can, even those where the colic monster is visiting while tears stream down my face - sure it is frustrating, but it is part of motherhood and I'm okay with it. On to the past month!
I think the biggest thing in this last month is learning Ruby has a milk protein allergy, it has been a HUGE step for us in dealing with her fussiness and learning what I can and cannot eat. We are close to a month clean now and she seems so much better, although she still has her moments (like all of yesterday) and I have to admit, its not as bad for me as I thought. It has us eating at home more often and I have a feeling it will help me lose weight a little faster since I have to cut almost all of the higher fat foods I was eating out, not just the cheeses, but most of the bakery items too unless I make them myself. Regardless, it is all worth it to ensure Ruby is doing better and is able to continue to be exclusively on breast milk.
This past month Ruby has also begun to smile, and not just in her sleep. Mr. Octopus seems to be the best at getting her to show those gums of hers! Now, if we could only get some better pictures of her when she is smiling - as of now, she seems to know the camera is coming out and then refuses anymore smiles and coos. Stubborn little stinker of mine!

She is also starting to get decent head and neck control, so much so that we can put her in lumpy (aka her bumbo) for short periods of time. However, it sure can make burping her a little more difficult since she prefers to look around. Luckily, she hasn't done TOO much twisting and turning during feedings yet, I can only imagine how painful that will get!

And lately, she has discovered her hand - or fist rather! It is all she can do to try and get the whole thing wedged into her mouth. The hand in mouth used to be a feeding queue and that has since gone the way of those newborn clothes since she will finish a feeding and then begin sucking on her hand, making quite loud and obnoxious slurping noises. At first I was fearful that she wasn't getting enough to eat, but I've since learned that this is common among the online mom's I know. Babies really are such strange creatures!

We head to the pediatrician for her 2 month appointment on December 10th, at which point she needs to get her first round of vaccinations (sniff sniff). What I haven't blogged about is that she will also be heading to an appointment with a hematologist. It seems that her PKU test came back with some form of unidentified hemoglobin, so we're going in for more testing. My husband did a little googling and it seems that most of the time when this happens, it is completely harmless and nothing comes of it - so I've basically done my best to not worry or think about it. Most typically if something is wrong, it is linked to some sort of anemia, and since Ruby is not showing any signs of anemia, I'm just waiting to hear what the doctors say.

This little girl has captured my heart and I look forward to watching her grow and learn about life. I don't think I've ever felt as loved and needed as I do as a mother, knowing this little innocent life is completely dependent on my husband and I for everything - and that makes me feel more important than anything. And while there are times when I miss the ease of not being a parent (such as how I could just grab my purse and head to the store), I can never imagine missing out on all the joy she has brought to my life. So, Ruby Ann, my dearest baby girl, no matter what life throws at you and how old you get, your father and I thank the Lord for you each and every day - you will never live a day without love. Remember that. Happy 2 month birthday sweetheart!

Month 1

The day we brought her home:

Ruby at 1 month:

Ruby turned 1 month old on November 1st and while I was hoping to make this post then, she had other plans for me: she introduced me to a night of colic. So, I apologize for being a little late on this but I've also learned that we are no longer on OUR schedule, we are now always on HER schedule, meaning LATE is going to happen. With that, lets get on to the good stuff.

First off, I'm going to go back to the hospital days and list what I took and found useful while there. (This is just a copy from what I previously posted on a message board)

Remember, this is coming from someone who was induced, a needle phob who had an epidural, who is breastfeeding, had a very mild, grade 1 tear, and dealt with 9 full months of heavy throat mucus which lead to nausea most of the time.

Hospital bag - what I used:
My own pillows (both DH and I)
Blanket for DH
Towels (hospital ones suck)
Slippers
Comfy clothes for after birth (they helped me feel much more human than the gown - although I did use the gown as a sort of robe since I didn't have one)
My own toiletries - showers before made me sick and the first shower post birth was like heaven, and so nice to have my own stuff.
CD of calm music - used when I napped during the day
Notebook - used to track questions I had as well as my birth experience
Snacks - after birth
baby clothes / blankets - the 0-3 months swollow her so I'm glad I brought extras, as well as she spit up before we even left, and the blankets were good in the pictures.
I did not bring make -up but I don't ewar it often anyhow. I did have lotion and chapstick though.
Camera, cell phones, laptop, and chargers
Boppy - I LOVE this pillow and use it often, both to support Ruby as well as to lean on since my back is sore
Breast cream (Lansinoh)
Money for parking and for snacks / soda

And here are a few things I learned those first few days:

The epidural was NOTHING compared to what I expected. I am a HUGE needle phob and just cry when they MENTION taking blood. Seriously, it hurt worse when I have a big pimple on my back than the epi did. Also, the epi is applied by gravity, so don't sit up too much. I did, and it wore of on my left, I started have extreme back labor and thought I was going to die. I can't IMAGINE going through that without med's. My IV sucked 10x more than the epi.

I think being completely numb also takes away any modesty I had. I had no issues laying there for all the world to see and examine since I couldn't feel anything - and I've always been one to be a little more modest, even at the doctor (I refuse to go to a male OB/GYN). Amazingly, even being numb, I was still able to push just fine and had Ruby out within half an hour.

Recovery is not nearly as bad as I expected. My back and abdomen are more sore than my vag is. Bowel movements haven't been that bad either, although the pushing is a little strange feeling - not sure how else to explain. Make sure to take your colace and just be patient and you shouldn't have any issues.

The bleeding didn't last nearly as long as I expected. I figured it would still be heavy, but honestly, the heavy, red stuff was basically gone by day 2.

I didn't feel that immediate connection when she was first born since it STILL didn't seem completely real to me, so don't feel bad if it doesn't happen to you. I have since gone through those emotions though and am totally in love with her. There are still days it doesn't seem real and I'm waiting for her REAL mom to come take her back - luckily I AM her real mom so that won't happen.

Now, on to the first month of her life, which by the way is filled more with her dad and I learning than it is with her milestones.

Breastfeeding SUCKS at first. I've never been one to have tender breasts so I was hoping this would be fairly easy for me - nope. There were several times where I sobbed while feeding her because I was in so much pain and told my husband I was ready to give her a bottle. Luckily, I also told him BEFORE her birth that I'd need his support at times to encourage me when I felt that way - which is exactly what he did. Between the first and second week I remember it being the worst, and one side hurt more which lead me to favor the other side. I was a little worried it would cause supply issues on that side, but by pumping that side some as well as still letting her feed on it every 3rd or 4th time, we never had any issues. By the end of week 2 the horrible, miserable, stabbing, my nipple is being chopped off pain went away and while it still took another week or two for the discomfort to go away, it was significantly much more manageable. Now, at over a month, we are still strictly breastfeeding and while there are still times its uncomfortable, I am glad I didn't give up. There are even times where it is stress reducing and feels like nice bonding time with her. With that, I'll say the same things I've read from other people a million times, don't quit until you've stuck with it for at least 3-4 weeks (unless of course you have other health reasons).

Speaking of feeding, we also introduced her to a bottle at 4 weeks, since once I'm back at work she'll have to take a bottle at daycare. I pumped, filled the bottle for dad, he gave her the bottle and she took it like a champ, drank a full 4 ounces, then came back to me a nursed a little longer - so it appears she isn't too picky about where her food comes from, as long as she gets it. Hooray!

Diapers - this has been a rocky road for us. I'm still planning on making it to 100% cloth diapers, but we've been fighting major leaks and issues. The fitteds and covers seem extremely bulky on her and leave red marks on her legs, which of course worries me some. I had to get some help on how to put the covers on to prevent leaks and I think we MAY have this down with them, but the red marks still bother me. Not sure we'll keep using those particular diapers but who knows. The really cute ones my cousin made still seem to leak, so I might contact her to see if she has any suggestions. According to the pediatrician today, Ruby is a very long and lean baby, so the lack of chubby thighs might be part of the problem. Also, she can be a pretty heavy wetter at night and the fitted diapers get soaked quickly, so I just bought some BumGenuis 3.0 one size that so many people swear by for night time - we still need to try these out and see if they work. I know I might have to try several different brands to find some that work, I just hope I can find them before my husband decides we don't need to spend anymore money on cloth diapers that don't seem to work. Meanwhile, we continue with a combination of cloth and sposies while we work through our trials. Wish me luck!

The Moby Wrap ROCKS. Ruby doesn't like to be put down so once my husband went back to work, it was hard for me to get ANYTHING done. That, and I feel guilty if she's awake and I'm not holding or entertaing her so I really try to limit the amount of time she is in her swing or bouncer. This of course leads to my house getting clutter and me getting stressed out. So, when I went to our local cloth diaper store (Babies Bottoms and More) to ask about her leaking, I was also able to talk to them about a carrier. They had me try the Moby Wrap. I bought one, then went to Babies R Us and used it - holy cow this thing is wonderful! Our BRU was having a huge sale so the store was filled with families and strollers and just wandering through the aisles was a chore. However, since I had her against my chest and didn't have to manuever a stroller through the chaos, it was a rather stress free trip for me. Oh, and Ruby slept through it wonderfully. I can't rave about this enough.

Those are the main things for now. I'll be back later to add pictures and anything else I forgot, but at least I've got this started!